My next stop was Twitter after I had a request from someone over there. I also don't use Twitter very often either. I joined Jaiku a while back and the never went back. I also joined Plurk but likewise I don't go there. I think I like the idea of just one service - I can't keep up with the basic ones, so why try to keep up with all the new ones. I see Leo Laporte just joined yet another micro-blogging site and I went there but wasnt' going to waste their time or mine by signing up. I still blog old-skool and it looks like Twitter is still thriving even without me. That's good. There isn't as much to do there when I sign in - just approve requests. I don't know who some of those people are either or how they found me. I think some of them are ad robots or something. I finally took off the privacy setting so people can add away. I'll add them if I know them.
Since Jamie is on Facebook I wanted to try to start up a game of Scrabbulous - but it's gone now - replaced with Wordscaper. Took a few minutes on Google to find that tidbit, but I added it. It's almost the same game, just a little different so Hasbro will shut the hell up about it. They put their own Scrabble version out there, but it sucks from what I hear and that sounds about right. There was also a new Vox.com fan page apparently started by Vox, so I added them or fanned them or whatever it is I'm doing.
So anyway, on the FB home page I noticed that people leave little micro-blog notices and then other people comment - which is exactly like Twitter. Weird, but at least I get it now. People don't have time to blog, so they look for places like Twitter where they can Micro-Blog.
Pretty soon their will just be a service called "Grunt!" and you'll go there and let out primal noises and other people will follow up with Tim Taylor sounding grunts. I should put this on my to-do list.
Earlier this morning Sheryl wrote …with my tail between my legs. If you haven’t read it yet, you really should go do so now. Go ahead and do so now. It’s ok. Clicking the link will open a new window and you can come back here afterwards. Go.
A long time ago, in a very tongue-in-cheek post, I used this cartoon. it had circulated the web a number of times.
It was a time when talk of women in technology was the high-toned meme of the day and I was one of those men who deemed myself enlightened. I wasn’t part of the good old boys network. I’d never do such a thing.
Bunk and poppycock. Now, a few years later, I see myself as much a part of that as ever, with only a renewed awareness that I don’t listen well and I talk over people. And in the technology sector, we men seem to almost all do that to a large…to a huge extent. Yes, my good friends and colleagues across the industry, this means you too. (Quit shrugging and get out of denial. I do mean you. You’re a male like me and we all do it still.)
Sheryl and I have an intensely personal relationship. How could we not? We live together and plan on marrying. We spend all of our days and nights together. We are intermingled in a special and magical way I could never share with another.
It’s through that personal bond between us that I’ve recently been smacked with clue-by-four myself. I’ve realized just how badly I listen. I too easily pretend to listen but don’t hear. That’s caused some rough moments at times. It’s unfair. Unjust. It’s simply wrong.
In our heads we openly acknowledge that everyone has knowledge, opinion and value to bring to the conversation. But in our circles of technology, we too easily and too often shut outsiders out. It’s been hard for me at many times to see Sheryl as any kind of an outsider, yet this morning, I too was on that call and saw what she saw.
She made valuable comments that were totally ignored. I made minor comments, and they were immediately echoed and acknowledged. Why? Testicles and testosterone can’t be the only reason.
It’s a societal issue that has long been of interest to me, yet something I’ve let slip down the attention chain to being overlooked. Sheryl’s post was a bit of a wakeup call for me, and a reminder that it’s something she and I must focus our efforts on as Stardust Global Ventures really engages in some important consulting work projects. It must be part of our essence as a team.
Make no mistake, we are a team of equals. If I take over conversation as a bucketmouth, I expect you, readers, friends, colleagues and all, to take me to task and be sure to listen to Sheryl closely. She brings incredible value to our efforts in ways I could never find without her.
Today, I’m not proud to be a white male. Not at all. Today that demographic group took a hard knock as we showed just how deeply ingrained our heritage of misogyny and egocentricity is. I’m focusing on improving that. I’m going to ask Sheryl to slap me in the head when I slip. Who’s going to slap you in the head? Don’t let it be a guy. That would simply carry our shameful behavior on into the future.
Technorati Tags: men, women, realtionships, women in technology, misogyny, discrimination, glass ceiling, clue-by-four
I guess the countdown is on. Donna has a quote on her whiteboard that says "I'm gonna be ready for Halloween this year" or something like that. It's a direct quote from me. I said that sometime in, oh, April? Looks like it's almost time.
I just got this in my email:
I learned some interesting things this morning while sitting in on a conference call where I actually had some thoughts and opinions. It wasn’t a very nice observation, but a valuable lesson, nonetheless.
I was on a call with a variety of men, up to 17 different men at various times. As the lone female voice I learned how difficult it is to be heard when mens voices are louder. I learned how easy it is to be overlooked by a group of intelligent men who are larger than life, used to scrapping and vying for center stage. I learned that even when I tried to say something, frequently my points were not taken seriously or merely overlooked. Why?
Why is maybe not as simple to conclude as it might seem. It could be because I am a female and not as used to asserting myself. It could be lack of experience. it could be so many things but my thoughts are a little less clear. I really suspect it’s because of something very simple, something we learn at a much younger age and pay little attention to.
When we’re kids we gravitate to our same sex. We learn to interact with our ‘own kind’, before we learn to interact with the opposite sex. When we do start interacting with the opposite sex we do it in very different ways. Men pay attention to women in the initial for how they look, or how they move. Women do much the same. By the time we start hearing each other, we’ve already established ourselves as interesting, not because we had anything at all to say, but because we are attracted on some other level. Which means, ultimately, we don’t have to really hear the other person at all. With same sex relationships, it is far more important to have something to say and we learn much younger how to speak to that group and be heard.
This morning Ken and I were sitting on a call that initially was discussing the iPhone versus a variety of Nokia devices. I caught a few comments and forced my way into the conversation, quickly making a point and backing out.
After that topic wore itself out we moved on to game piracy, a topic I actually know something about and have interest in. However on that particular topic I tried and tried to get involved in the conversation and couldn’t make any headway at all.
I could say it was because I’m a woman. Maybe it was. I could say it was because the men were all so passionate about it, and maybe that is true as well. What I think, honestly, I wasn’t loud enough. I don’t speak to a GROUP of men in a way that they can hear. My points, while maybe of value, couldn’t be seen or heard because the men had become more raucous and energized. I wasn’t dynamic or forceful enough.
I realized with this how difficult it is for women to be seen as important in the world of VoIP and technology. Oh, certainly many of them are eye candy, but how many are taken seriously? How many are truly viewed as players in this world dominated by men? I’m not talking about the many PR women. Those women are accepted, but they aren’t seen as needing to have anything to say in the industry. They are viewed as eye candy and that is frequently why they are young and gorgeous.
Ken knew I was disturbed and suggested I offer myself as a guest host once a month. He did that having received a letter from our host about how he wanted to diversify and get other people to occasionally share in hosting of his show. I had a couple of thoughts, neither made me happy and are probably just sour grapes in all honesty.
First, I wasn’t sent the letter requesting friends to offer their services as host, and yet, of the two of us, I am the one in attendance on these calls most frequently. Over looked? Maybe. Non existent? Who knows.
Second, I realized after this mornings call, I don’t have the pull needed to gain an audience or enough female friends to really give credence to why women are actually valuable in this male dominated industry. That annoyed me, but I can’t change it overnight. That requires time and something I may not actually see in my life online anytime soon.
In summary, I guess this is rather muddled and not succinct enough to make a statement anyone of any importance will read. Now…I am making a judgment and it may not be valid because who am I to say that someone reading my post is less valuable than someone I want to read it? Still, I think we have a long way to go before women truly have a foothold in the VoIP industry and tech sector in any real way, other than as booth babes, or figure heads. It’s not a very nice sentiment, but it is my opinion. I’m probably far too new to this world to be viewed as anything other than Ken’s woman, someone who will be tolerated, and when the arguments are calm, and numbers low, allowed to be a part of things. And who am I to say they should do anything else? What recommends me as someone of any value in this industry? I’m just a woman seriously interested in learning something that a year ago I knew less about than I do today.
Vive la Différence!
When we redid the kitchen, we put in a tract lighting system. It is pretty cool, well, fiery hot actually - it has seven 50 watt halogen bulbs that you can aim at various work centers in the kitchen. So the stove, sink, fridge and coffee pot all get special attention - like they are in the big show. That's fine until one of them burns out. I'd say we've been through roughly 15 bulbs since last August. 15 at 3 per pack and $14 per pack works out to $70. Another two packs and we will surpass the price of the tract system. I assume that the company that manufactures the fixture ALSO owns stock in the company that makes the bulbs. (If you own a Wii, this is exactly the same synergistic relationship that Nintento has with Eveready.)
I'm still surprised, as I probably should not be at this point, with the number of bulbs we go through and the timing of them burning out. If the light pointing at the sink burns out, I replace it and within a day, the light pointing at the coffee pot goes out. If the light in the living room ceiling fan burns out, I replace it and then the one next to it goes out. Now it doesn't happen all the time - I'm not walking from room to room with my ladder and waiting. It only seems like that. I've switched to the new compact florescent bulbs where possible and they promise 11 years between changes. Ahh - 11 years. I can be blogging or something during all that free time that I'll have - but wait! I put two into the fixture in the living room and within a week, one of them was out. Dang - maybe it was a dud. At closer look, however, I found out it was the fixture itself that had failed. The bulbs will now out live the fixtures.
I had a few strings of those Christmas tree white lights on the bushes in the front yard. Originally, it was a Christmas decoration but then I left them on all year and they looked pretty nice, that is until they started going out. I could have gone through each and every bulb to see which one it was but instead I opted to just throw another complete strand overtop of those. Long story short, when the last one went out I pulled out about 300 feet of old wires from the bushes and I have yet to replace them.
My newest enemy is the photocell switch that is supposed to turn the outside lights on at dusk and off four hours later. I came home for lunch and all the outside lights were on. I can usually tell this because I can hear the electrical meter spinning out of control. I checked the switch and it looks fine - I mean, it looks like a switch, it just doesn't work anymore. I'd turn off the power going to the outside outlet but unfortunately due a twist of fate I used the same outside outlet for the pond pump so I'm going to have to get a new switch.
I think my next investment is a pair of coveralls that says "Maintenance" on the back.
Well, thanks to an unplanned sleepover, we went to see Tropic Thunder tonight.
Wow! We thought it was great. Lots of great talent and some of it was completely unexpected, which is why I LOVE seeing a movie without hearing (or reading) anything about it.
All I'll say is - I'm really glad that Robert Downey, Jr got his act together. Between this and Iron Man, he's really made my summer.
Well, we didn't go to Boston - blah - I'm going to check out everyone's review, though - I'm sure it was a fun time.
I received an email from eWeek about Vista not getting accepted by Enterprise users (and everyone else). What caught my eye immediately were the comments. Tech people are so freaking relentless:
Here was their reply:
Hello DeWitte,
Thanks so much for writing!
We are pleased that you took the time to share your thoughts with us.
All of our advertising is created to sell Degree products in an
entertaining and informative way.Thank you so much for your interest in our advertising. Your comments
will be shared with our media department.Thanks again for your interest!
Your friends at Degree
JB
(They are my friends now!) Thanks, JB!
I had a really good customer service interaction with Amazon last week. I bought an MP3 and it did not download. They have a link on their site that says something like "Call You Now". I put in my number and the phone rang like two seconds later. The CS person reset my link so I could re-download the song. That's cool beans.
We went to see this over the weekend for Nathan's birthday:
Michael Crawford - wow!
We went fishing over the weekend. The tourists were the real show:
NJ Woman "OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I CAUGHT A FISH!!! OMG!"
NJ Woman "GET THE CAMERA!"
I can't emphasize how loud this came out. Try envisioning that in 72 point type with a few extra "!"'s on the end.
There was also this old guy who caught a crab and made a dive for it - sadly, without even the least attempt to block his fall. I'll leave the visuals up to Jamie on that one.
We watched that McCain/Obama political forum thingy - does anyone else feel like McCain knew the questions ahead of time?
I took Friday off and we tore into the garage attached studio and took everything out of it - Clean Sweep style, tarp and all. It was quite refreshing. Nathan wants to make it into a workshop and I'm all for it. We'll get everything in place this week and I'll post a picture. I'm sure we'll start making something ridiculous and sell in on Etsy.
All this and then President Musharraf resigned.
I think that's everything (for me) so far.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
