The Lord's Prayer Ever wonder what prayer would be like if it was answered
during
the prayer? Would you be shocked, embarrassed, annoyed,
thrilled, or speechless?
Think about how you might respond if this were to happen:
Our Father, Who Art In Heaven.
Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But... you called me!
Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who
art in Heaven...
There... you did it again.
Did what?
Called me. You said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven."
Well, here I am. What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my
prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me
feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right. Go on.
Okay. Hallowed be Thy name...
Hold it right there. What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be Thy name"?
It means... good grief, I don't know what it means. How in the
world should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way,
what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Ah, that makes sense. I never thought about what hallowed
meant before. Thanks. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven...
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess. I just think it would be good if
you got control of everything down here like you have up there.
We're kind of in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know; but have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church.
That isn't what I asked you. What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know. And what
about some of the language you use and the stuff you talk
about? What about your impatience with others and
thinking that you're better than they are? What about the
people you've judged? Remember, that's MY job, not
yours.
Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me! I'm just as
good as some of the rest of those people at church!
Excuse me? I thought you were praying for MY will to be
done? If that is to happen, it will have to start with the
ones who are praying for it... like you, for example.
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some issues. Now that you
mention it, I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would
like to cut out some of those things. I would like to... you know,
be really free.
Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together,
you and me. I'm proud of you.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind, I need to finish up here. This is
taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread...
You need to cut out some of the bread. You're a little over-
weight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I am doing my religious
duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my
problems.
Praying is a dangerous thing. You could end up changed, you know.
That's what I'm trying to bring across to you.
Remember, you called me; and here I am. It's too
late to stop now. Keep praying.
................
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try me and see.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us...
What about Susan and others who have done you wrong?
See... I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord?
She's told lies about me and spread stories. She never paid back
the money she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!
But... your prayer. What about your prayer?
I didn't, you know, really mean it.
Well, at least you're honest. But it's quite a load carrying
around all that bitterness and resentment, isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have
I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born!
No, you won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge
isn't sweet. You know how unhappy you are. Well, I can
change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Susan. Then I'll forgive you; and the hate and sin
will be Susan's problem, not yours. You will have settled the
problem as far as you are concerned.
OK... you know... you're right. You always are. And more than
I want revenge, I want to be right with You. (Sigh)... All right,
all right... I forgive her.
There now! Wonderful! How do you feel?
Hmm. Well... not bad. Not bad at all! In fact, I feel pretty
good! You know, I don't think I'll be going to bed all uptight
tonight. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, you know.
Yeah, I know. But you're not through with your prayer, are
you? Go on.
Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...
Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah, I know.
OK. Go ahead and finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.
Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory and what would
really make me happy?
No, but I would like to know. I want to please you now. I've
really made a mess of things. I want to truly follow you. I can
see now how great that would be. So tell me... how do I make
you happy?
You just did.
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight
5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4
tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3
tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash
of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug
Add dry ingredients to mug, and
mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put
your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will
rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and
tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to
feel slightly more virtuous).
And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe
in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake
at any time of the day or night!
Actually, Michael is the one who put in the five years with the company one of the companies he works for. Just about the time they laid him off, he got notified that he was entitled to a gift for working for them for five years. He wasn't really interested in it, obviously, so he just handed me the catalog and told me I could pick something, since I'd put up with him for almost that long! (It will be five years on Jan. 1).
And this is what I chose: an amethyst ring, my birthstone.
In honor of Canada Day, show us your favorite Canadian.
For me, it's a tie, or should I say, "Tigh" :)
Michael Hogan is Col. Saul Tigh on Battlestar Galactica, and Michael Ironside has played in several movies I've watched. They both ROCK!
